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December 19, 2005

Give us your fruitcakes!

I love fruitcake. But I waited too long this year, and my father and fellow fruitcake lover got his scavenging email out to the company before I did.

For years I have operated an annual rescue effort for fruitcakes (yes, the kind you can build walls with) in an attempt to deliver these much maligned masterpieces of the baker's pride from an unjust end. Yes, it is true. I am the last living lover of fruitcake. Despite tireless efforts on my part, in recent years the annual fruitcake appeal has fallen into a state of desuetude, due I am sure, to youthful callousness, ill will toward the cheerful givers of fruitcake, global warming, rising oil prices, and the general decline in fruitcake consumption worldwide. If, however, you chance to be the targeted recipient of an unwelcome fruitcake this fine holiday season, remember that you can give it a good home (however temporary that may be). I close this appeal with the stirring cry of Marie Antoinette, "Let them eat cake!"
Just don't throw them away! Save the fruitcake!

Posted by Bob Pritchett at December 19, 2005 12:08 PM

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